This is the 2nd time I wrote this. I am reminded with every passing minute how ill equipped I am to be doing this. But I can’t stop now. I have a dream to create something everyday even if its mediocre. I’ve spent so much of my life on the sidelines watching the game and now I want to play, but my muscles are stiff and weak. Atrophied from inaction, paralyzed by being a voyeur. I know AI can do all of this faster and better than me, but I couldn’t stomach AI bland slop all over the website. I figure it should reflect me and where I am at the current moment. And where I am is at ground zero. Below it in fact. Every fiber of my being says I should stop, but I can’t let myself down. Not again, not anymore.
I wrote a poem today. It reflects how I feel. Ground up and chewed by a system which detests me. Its only desire to suck the sweet nectar inside of me out for its own systems. Gfor the gears grinding ever constantly. But today I start to paint a different picture. don’t have a title yet.
Dark thoughts linger
Like stale smoke
Staining the tapestry of the mind
Rot seeps deep
Where cheap dreams leak
Mouldered foundations crumble in time
The grinding gears crank
Juicing hearts of hope
Leaving husks behind
In the pulp
Some soul remains
The essence of our lives
Use what’s left
To blot the canvas
Scrawl out your warning sign
Mark the road of sin & sadness
Drive back the passersby
Once blind
They now may see
The maw of metal dines
On the light, you hide inside, do not let darkness shine